[12 Nov 2003|10:46pm]
New journal.
Last chance to add it!
[7] comment

[09 Nov 2003|09:44am]
Hey, everyone, I got a new journal.


Add me. It's going to be friends only <3

053; [01 Nov 2003|09:48pm]
This is why I love LeaAnne (GreenLikeJuly87):

GreenLikeJuly87: hahaha
GreenLikeJuly87: I love you
GreenLikeJuly87: now
GreenLikeJuly87: cum FUCK me
clocks or phones: Ok, I will so be there in 5 minutes
GreenLikeJuly87: k im ready I could fit a freaking truck in here cause im so wet and slippery

She's so funny! I miss her sooooo much. She is the only person that has been there for me no matter what. She's never screwed me over. I love her soooo much.

In other news:
I feel better about the me and Brian thing. We had really good sex yesterday. That was unrelated, but oh well.
[13] comment

052; [29 Oct 2003|11:08pm]
So I am listening to "If Winter Ends" by Bright Eyes on repeat and smelling his shirt and crying. I just want to feel okay. I feel so fucking empty. I don't want to feel this way again.

I dreamt of a fever,
One that would cure me of this cold, winter-set heart
With heat to melt these frozen tears burned with reasons as to carry on
Into these twisted months I plunge without a light to follow
But I swear that I would follow anything
Just get me out of here
But you get six months to adapt
And you get two more to leave town
And in the event that you do adapt
We still might not want you around
But I fell for the promise of a life with a purpose
But I know that that's impossible now
And so I drink to stay warm and to kill selected memories
Cause I just can't think anymore about that
Or about her tonight
And I give myself three days to feel better
Or else I swear I'll drive right off a fucking cliff
Because if I can't learn to make myself feel better
How can I expect anyone else to give a shit?
And I scream for the sunlight
Or a car to take me anywhere
Just get me passed this dead and eternal snow
Cause I swear that I'm dying
Slowly, but it's happening
And if the perfect spring is waiting somewhere
Just take me there
Just take me there
Just take me there
And say and lie to me and say and lie to me and say
It's gonna be alright
-If Winter Ends
[5] comment

051; [28 Oct 2003|11:20pm]
I feel like shit.
I feel like Brian and I are growing apart.
He's acting distant, and I don't like it.
Alex said it looks like we're falling apart.
I love Brian with all my heart.
He has this smell.....it's like bowling alley & sweat & Brian, and I love it. I could never do without that smell. I just feel like the newness is gone from the relationship, and it's just different.I know it's expected, and it's going to happen in every relationship. I know it isn't supposed to feel like this, though. I feel fucking defective or something. I want this to get better because I don't know what to do, and I'm crying my eyes out and I love Brian more than anything. He's my whole life. I don't ever want to lose the feeling he gives me. I'm going to go cry myself to sleep.

[6] comment

050; [27 Oct 2003|08:48pm]
Hey kids, I got a new screen name.
clocks or phones
Talk to me, but only if you are not incredibly boring.

My schedule for the rest of the week:

Get hair cut and dyed
Go get Against Me! tickets, condoms, and a CD.
Watch the Charlie Brown movie on TV
Watch Rushmore

Get pap smear (I'm scared!)
Carve pumpkins

Go get chinese with my aunt
Finish working on Halloween costume

Take my little sister trick-or-treating

Hang out with Bobby (?)

[6] comment

049; [26 Oct 2003|10:31pm]
through my interactions, u have to be the coolest female i've met
the rest...meh
crash your car says:
Bobby, that's really nice.
i know, Saturday was a humbling, n it made me realize
many of em cool, but ur the COOLEST
crash your car says:
That makes me smile. Thank you.

I love Bobby. Even though we don't really hang out outside of school too often, he's my one of my best friends. It makes me happy.

I had sex for the first time in a week today. It was good.

I am happy.

on_wifeburning is hot....I have a new love for records.
[12] comment

048; [22 Oct 2003|05:44pm]
Hey kids, I need your help.
I'm the editor of the yearbook, and since the school doesn't provide us with any money, we have to have a lot of fundraisers. Someone came up with the idea of a haunted house today, and we thought it was a good idea, except we don't have enough time to plan it. Instead, we are going to do it around christmas and call it The Nightmare Before Christmas. We have to present ideas to the supervisor soon, and I really want to impress her.

So, my question is, what are some things that would be cool in a haunted house? Be specific! I want it to be actually scary, not lame, and it would be at my high school. Help, please! ♥

RIP Elliot Smith :(
[20] comment

047; [19 Oct 2003|11:33pm]
The 25th is six months for Brian and I. We bought each other presents, and already gave them to each other. I guess we just couldn't wait. I bought him a Bright Eyes record and two pins, and he bought me these shoes:

They are soooo hot. Brian picks out good presents. He spent too much on me, though!

So, today, my foot is sore and swollen, but it doesn't really hurt. I love my tattoo <3

Oh, and
[6] comment

047; [18 Oct 2003|05:50pm]
Today, I got a tattoo. I really like it. It's three black outlines of stars on my left foot, and it hurt a lot. The guy who tattooed me was very nice, though, and Brian held my hand the entire time. I'm surprised my mom actually let me get it done, since I'm only 17.

fuzzy pictures of my new tattooCollapse )
[41] comment

046; [14 Oct 2003|08:36pm]
New layout. It's my first time experimenting with image maps. Check it out and tell me what you think.

[39] comment

045; [09 Oct 2003|11:16pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Want to know what fucking sucks? I got my first detention EVER today for hugging my boyfriend. It was seriously like a 2 SECOND HUG. Not only do I have a detention, but it's THREE HOURS LONG. Mr. Rowe, the guy who gave me the detention doesn't even get paid. He volunteers at the school to punish students. FUCK YOU, MR. ROWE!

[19] comment

044; [05 Oct 2003|01:07pm]
[ mood | sick ]

Hey, who wants to burn me a CD, and mail it to me?
I have a list of the songs I want on it.
It would be greatly appreciated, and I would send you a package of fun stuff in return!

So this is the third day that I've been on Lexapro. Justin says it makes me crazy, but actually, it just makes me sick.

I saw School Of Rock yesterday. It wasn't as funny as I hoped it was going to be.


yes, I AM this boredCollapse )

[38] comment

043; [01 Oct 2003|08:51pm]
The past few days have been shitty. Yesterday, I went to see a therapist for the first time. She was actually really nice, and she referred me to a psychologist, because she said I needed anti-depressants. So, today, I go to the psychologist, and he was asking me a bunch of questions in front of my grandma. He asked me if I was sexually active, and I had to say yes. My grandma immediately said "Shame on you," and started crying. I cried too. I was pissed at the psychologist for putting me on the spot like that. I'm still really upset. I just feel like I always let everyone down, and my grandma has been making a lot of remarks like "So when did you decide to make your stupid decision?" I don't know. It hurts. And I am now on anti-depressants. I forget the name, though.
[18] comment

042; [25 Sep 2003|04:39pm]
Today was five months for Brian and I. That is a long time, if you think about it. Roughly 150 days.

He wrote me a note last night.
It says:

Hello sweetheart, how are you? I'm grand. Chessie, I love you so much. You are the greatest person in my life. I'm so happy that we've been together for 5 months and that we are both still happy with each other. I wish that I was with you right now, so I could hold you, and touch your face, and tell you how much I love to be with you, and how perfect of a girlfriend you've been to me. It's hard to believe that we've been together for this long, but you've made my life so happy and wonderful. I've had some of the best times with you. I try so hard to make sure that you're happy. When I see you for the first time, in the morning, I get such a great feeling. I can't wait to get out of class and hug you and kiss you and tell you how much I love you. I wish you were here so I could cuddle up to you and watch you sleep, and give you kisses, and whisper in your ear how much I love you. Chessie, you're the best, I love you, goodnight.
Love always,


I talked to Nic on the phone for the first time. We had a nice conversation. Nic = <3<3<3<3<3
[13] comment

041; [20 Sep 2003|11:44pm]
[ mood | pleased ]

Today was a really good day. Brian had the premiere for his bike team thing DVD. A lot of people came, and all of them admired Brian, because he is really good at doing tricks and stuff. Wow, I suck at explaining this. Anyway, I was so proud of Brian. After the premiere of the DVD, Brian cried, because he said he was so overwhelmed. He said he was so happy because he set his mind to something and actually did it, it was really touching. Brian has been riding his bike since he was in elementary school. I am so unbelievably proud of him.

I love Brian more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life.

[25] comment

040; [17 Sep 2003|08:46pm]
[ mood | tired ]

My Cursive ticket that was signed by Jordan Blilie from The Blood Brothers. Excuse me while I go rub it on my private parts.

I'm incredibly tired, and it's only 8:47.

I feel like crap lately, and I don't know why. Brian yelled at me the other day, it was scary and sad.

I got a haircut today. It's hott. Yes, with two t's.

[3] comment

039; SHE'S SHAKING LIKE A REVOLUTION! [14 Sep 2003|03:42am]
[ mood | giddy ]

I had the best night I've had in a lonnnnnng time.

I saw Cursive and The Blood Brothers. If it's even possible, I love The Blood Brothers ten times more now. There was definitly some hip shaking going on. They played the five songs I wanted to hear most - Denver Max, Every Breath Is a Bomb, Cecilia And The Silhouette Saloon, Ambulance Vs. Ambulance, and Kiss Of The Octopus. I was very happy. Brian bought the HOTTEST Blood Brothers zippy and oh man, he wore it, and I was like *molest*

Cursive was good too, but not as good as the last time I saw them. They didn't play The Radiator Hums.

During Cursive, the best thing happened. Brian and I were standing there, and this girl in front of me kept looking at us. Then, she said "Is that your boyfriend behind you?" and I said yes, and then she said "You two are so cute together!" I was SO FUCKING HAPPY. She was really nice.

I met Jordan from The Blood Brothers, he is really fucking cool. He gave Brian stickers, signed my ticket, and gave me a hug. I would like to marry him.

Brian is the best boyfriend in the world.
I still feel like dancing.

[11] comment

038; [13 Sep 2003|01:24am]
[ mood | tired ]

Wow, I haven't made a real post in forever.

Today was actually lots of fun.
Minus school, because everyone knows school sucks.

Around 6:30, I was supposed to go shopping with Sarah. But, at 6, Alex, Mitch, and Eric kidnapped me, and took me to see Mustard Plug. I'm really glad that I went with them, those boys are all very nice. I saw so many people I haven't seen in ages, like Fernando, and Megan. I was dancing and skanking with Fernando, which was fun, because I'm usually too shy. Mustard Plug was good.

Abra is such a cuntface. I can't even describe how much I hate her. She's telling people all sorts of lies about me. Supposedly I like another boy, and I'm going to break up with Brian. RIGHT. I know she is just miserable, so she's trying to ruin other peoples relationships, but it's not going to work.


[9] comment

037; [07 Sep 2003|11:03pm]
[ mood | angry ]

I just spilled Pepsi all over my biology homework.


[27] comment

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